


Know Thy Self

by keelover



Category: Avengers Academy, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, X-23 (Comic), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-28
Updated: 2012-11-28
Packaged: 2017-11-19 17:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/575918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelover/pseuds/keelover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a period of self-doubt, Jubilee reaffirms that she is, wholeheartedly, alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Know Thy Self

********  
A slender, pale hand placed itself over her chest. A touch of sorrow lingering as she studied the full length mirror in front of her. She could hear numerous heartbeats, the sound of vibrant blood pulsing through her ears. She could hear numerous heartbeats, but not her own. A tear slid down her cheek, nightshirt rustling against her bare thigh as she let out a small, broken laugh.  


     “I wish I were a real boy.”

     The taste of copper lingered on her tongue, and she wondered, just for a moment, what she must look like. Then, dwelling over her past actions and thoughts, she decided that it was best she didn’t know. The cold of the evening lingered on her skin, bay windows left ajar as she fell in love with the full moon and the light it provided. Another tear fell from her eye, her nose red as she fought the hopelessness that threatened to consume her. The usual grin she wore missing; the shimmer in her eyes dulled.

     Tired and lost, she bowed her head, asking for a miracle to come her way. A callused hand settled upon her shoulder, turning around, she came face-to-face with someone she hadn’t seen in awhile. “Jeeze, X, you couldn’t use the door?” she asked, hands on either side of her face.

     “You are sad.”

     Jubilee swallowed hard, a tickle in her throat. “What?”

     Laura placed a hand upon her shoulder, bringing her closer. The jade coloring of Laura’s eyes were intense, and they never ceased to both frighten and intrigue her. “I can smell it on you. The salt in your tears.”

     Jubilee removed her hand, smoothing the front of her shirt as she moved away from the dining room and towards the living room. “I really don’t want to talk about this right now.”

     Laura followed her, head tilted to the side as she stared down at her. “Then we won’t talk.”

     Jubilee frowned. “Huh?”

     Laura sat down beside her on the sofa, eyes peering down at the carpet. “When we were in France, you told me that words were overrated, and that we could be quiet together. I will be quiet.”

     Jubilee stared at her, mind whirling with questions, but she refrained from asking them. Instead, she laid her head upon Laura’s shoulder, knowing she could, and listened to her heartbeat, pretending it was hers. The portraits on the wall were eerie to her, all men and women with haunting eyes and distorted features, but the mark of wealth they provided were undeniable, and Jubilee guessed that was what Remy had gone for. The plush leather sofa and sixty inch flat screen television didn’t hurt, either. Laura didn’t ask her what she was doing away from the X-Men, and Jubilee didn’t ask her what she was doing away from the Academy. A half an hour past, and then another, all spent in silent reprieve.

     “Your hair is longer.”

     Jubilee tilted her head up to look at her, nose scrunched as she laughed. The manner in which Laura spoke, all fact, no modesty, was something she had missed. “I wouldn’t have known without you saying so,” she said, but that didn’t make her as sad as it would have earlier.

     “Are you not able to feel the difference?”

     Jubilee sat up, sighing, as she ran her fingers through her hair. Of course, Laura was right. “Honestly, I haven’t cared. These past couple of days...I figure, hey, if I can’t see myself, who gives a damn, right?”

     “That does not sound like you.”

     Jubilee smiled, at least someone thought so. The others were preoccupied with the thought of her turning on them, and the like. “You’d never guess a buncha mutants would be afraid of one teeny tiny vampire,” she said, frowning.

     “You are angry now.”

     Jubilee’s hand balled into a fist as she hit the side of the sofa. “You’re damn right I am. It’s like, whoever I was before this happen doesn’t matter. It just, it sucks, X.”

     Laura brushed a stray strand of hair behind Jubilee’s ear, and though it was a timid, cautious gesture, Jubilee understood it was her way of trying to comfort her. “It is because they are afraid of you. You are more powerful, and more dangerous, and they can see that. It makes them afraid.”

     “I don’t want to be more powerful, or more dangerous. I just want to be me.”

     “They think you are not to be trusted. I understand that.” Jubilee smiled, and then laughed, causing Laura to frown. “What is funny?”

     “Empathy, X. You’re trying to empathize with me. I’m impressed.”

     “I have learned a lot.”

     “I’m glad at least one of us have.”

     “You are here, in the presence of hundreds, and you have made no attempt to attack and feed on any of them. That is improvement.”

     “That’s restraint. I think about it, like, every ten seconds. Twenty, if I’m lucky.”

     Laura grabbed Jubilee’s hand, pressing both her index and middle fingers to the pulse point of her neck. Jubilee heaved, the thirst and the absolute hunger for blood intoxicating her, driving her forward, and then reeling back. “What the hell?” she shouted, freeing herself of Laura’s hold, and leaping off the couch. The memory of Laura’s neck, bare and tainted with blood, came rushing back, making her crave as much as it made her sick. The sound of her heartbeat, strong and consistent, made her light-headed.

     “You resisted.”

     “Don’t do that!”

     “You sound angry, but you are not.”

     Jubilee crossed her arms, staring down at Laura. “That’s because I’m not angry. I’m desperate, X. I don’t want to do this any more, and you’re so not helping.”

     Laura stood, single claw extended as she sliced a thin line along her neck, from just below her ear to where her external jugular vein resided. Jubilee lunged forward, propelled by her superior speed, Laura was slammed back into the nearest wall, head tilted to the side as to allow her access. She never even blinked. Jubilee could smell the blood and its vitality and pureness, its life, and how it could be torn away with ease. A mourning sound passed through her lips, eyes sealed shut as she resisted the ever prevalent thought to sink her teeth in, and drain until there was nothing left.

     “Do you believe that a person has a soul?” she asked, nails digging into Laura’s shoulders, her mouth mere inches away from the blood that trickled, wound healing. “I’m not adding religion into the equation, just a soul, you know?”

     “Yes,” Laura said, matter of fact, surprising Jubilee, and distracting her from the desire to act.

     “They say souls are immortal, you know? That, that even when the body’s dead, the soul remains. You believe that?”

     “I do not know.”

     Jubilee smiled, body relaxing as she pressed a soft kiss to Laura’s lips. “Well, I do,” she said. “And I figure that even though I’m dead now, in the physical sense, you know, I’ve still got a soul. I’ve got a soul, and I’m still me, and that trumps everything.”

     “You kissed me.”

     “I did.”

     “Why?”

     Jubilee kissed her again, with more passion this time, before she relented, amused by Laura’s curious gaze. The cut to her neck restored back to its previous state, Laura straightened up, looking down as Jubilee looked up. Her blood, dried and stained, posed no threat to Jubilee now that her spirit was on the mend. Laura smoothed her fingers through Jubilee’s hair, another gesture meant to bring warmth. The confusion, Jubilee figured, would come later.  

     “Because, X, I’m _alive_!”

****

           

 


End file.
